September 11th, 2001. Where were you? I was home alone – in my childhood home in Western Maryland – which was a quiet, secluded property several miles from town, no neighbors within shouting distance. The sun was shining, the air was a bit brisk… It was autumn in the mountains. My mother and I were…
Just Breathe
For a while now, I’ve been having a recurring dream. I’m underwater. There are traces of light that allow me to see my hands grasping at the bubbles that are floating above me towards a surface I can’t see. I know I’m drowning, and while I’m frightened – I’m also accepting. The silence is comforting. …
Chasing the ‘Lonelies’
I’ve never been prone to loneliness. Partial credit is awarded to me being an introvert, while I’ve also enjoyed my own imagination, my own company, and my own ‘quiet’ since I was a child. I’ve never been one to get bored easily. There’s always something to read, something to ponder, a great film to watch, some menial chore…
Hiding from Joy
During an appearance on Oprah, Dr. Brene Brown, a renowned public speaker and research professor, speaks about ‘dress rehearsing tragedy.’ To be more specific, she explains that – “Dress rehearsing tragedy is imagining something bad is going to happen when in reality, nothing is wrong.” I’m accustomed to calling this coping mechanism, ‘waiting for the other shoe to…
No More Silence
I’m struggling, friends. My heart is heavy, my body is exhausted, and my mind is fighting to remain at a safe distance from the Dark Place. I need to be reminded of the good in the world. Tell me something beautiful, that will restore my faith in magic. Help me remember my profound belief in…
Away With You
For a long while, I’ve debated on whether or not I should air this laundry for the cyber world to see. As it’s been cropping up in my dreams more and more, as I catch myself repeating the mantra that comes along with it (which is not a positive mantra – but more on that…
Rescuing Hippo – Saving Myself
This is a weird time of year for me – a sad, emotionally restless time of year. April 6th was the nine year anniversary of my father’s death, and I’ve noticed that each year – around the end of March – I start feeling ‘heavy.’ My thoughts are darker, my moods are lower, and everything…
I Will Rise
We’re all afraid of something. Hell, most of us have multiple fears. Me? I’m afraid of fire, sharks, spiders, cockroaches…I hate almost all bugs. The exceptions being lightning bugs, dragonflies, ladybugs – you get the idea. I KNOW that spiders – and other creepy crawlers – play vital roles in the circle of life, they eat other pesky species,…
Let’s Talk (Real) Love
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d write about true love. No. I’m sorry, I can’t even type that without wanting to gag. I really don’t mean to sound cynical, but I f**king hate V-Day. Now, if there were a day honoring the single folks, my attitude might be a tad altered. Maybe. If there were a…
Learning to Fly
I’m going to take you on a different journey this week, by sharing the story of another. Another kindred soul, another fierce warrior, and yes – another Hot Mess. This is a story I find inspiring, humbling, and beautiful; and I feel privileged to have witnessed it unfold – if only from a distance –…
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