I was first diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 18. My parents had separated the year prior, and shortly thereafter my father had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. All of this transpired before my senior year in high school. When my doctor wrote me that first prescription for Prozac, I remember her saying,…
Here I am, Again.
Truth and accountability time. Against every massive effort I’ve instigated to prevent this from happening, I have somehow managed to develop romantic feelings for one of my coworkers. I’m embarrassed, ashamed, and seriously annoyed with myself on so many levels. He’s so not my usual type. Even though I’m more drawn to humor, intelligence, wit,…
Finding My Stride, Again
I’ve been back in Albuquerque for almost nine months now. Sometimes this realization makes me dizzy. It still feels so recent – packing up my life in Portland and preparing to drive 1,400 miles on my own in a U-Haul, with my dog as co-pilot. I turned 35 in November, and I feel like that…
Missing Pieces
Last night, I had a shockingly vivid dream about my wedding. I’ve had many of these dreams over the years, some more vivid than others, the truly special scenarios staying in my memory for me to revisit when I’m in the mood to engage in conscious wish-fulfillment fantasies. This dream started off lovely… The details…
Embrace Your Place
A kind, wise man once posted the following on Facebook – “Blessings are sometimes disguised in failures, or setbacks. However, God makes no mistakes. A good friend told me this week to ‘embrace your place’.” Even though this was months ago, I never forgot his words. I knew that eventually, when my creative energy started…
Modern Dating – The Struggle for Singles Refusing to Settle
“Be open to online dating sites,” they say. “Step outside of your comfort zone and do things that scare you,” they say. “You have to be willing to put yourself out there,” they say. These statements are made with the best of intentions; and I love the people who care about me and encourage me…
Hurting, Healing, Loving, and Living – The Struggle is Real
I’ve been navigating some difficult emotions the past few months. I’ve been struggling to find a healthy balance, and to remain functional enough to be successful at my newest job that I feel so fortunate to have been given; and where I desperately want to be the high performer my bosses need me to be…
Sweet Victor Blue Eyes
I believe some backstory is needed here, before I delve into Victor’s story. I was born and raised in a tiny Appalachian town in Western Maryland. After I graduated from high school in 2001, my mother decided to move back to Albuquerque, New Mexico so she could be close to her mother and her sister’s…
“I’m Still Here”
One of my favorite father figures in cinematic history is the late Richard Farnsworth portraying Matthew Cuthbert in Anne of Green Gables. His gentle, quiet presence is reminiscent of my own father; and I love how he immediately falls in love with Anne as she chatters away incessantly, allowing him to simply be himself in silent appreciation. While Matthew is a…
These Thoughts of Mine
I’ve said in the past that Hot Mess Molly is not a political blog. This is a place when I am free to be a basket case, where I can let my ‘Freak Flag’ fly, with no shame in who I am… This is my place to embrace my messiness. Having said that, if I’m…
